Just Stay
by PaintingWithFire
Summary: Astinos is leaving for the Battle of Thermopalye, but there is one that he is leaving behind. These are her thoughts, and what she wanted from him. Rated M!


I will never forget the day he left me.

I remember the weather, what I was wearing, the scar on his chin, the touch of his fingers on my collarbone. I remember leaning my head against his shoulder, murmuring, "Come back with your shield – or on it." Such was the parting words of a Spartan woman to a soldier.

He did not say I love you. He did not kiss me or embrace me. The only physical contact was his calloused fingertips on my neck. He had told me over and over how much he loved my neck, how slim and delicate it was, even for a woman.

No "I love you." Instead, he murmured, "Yes, my lady."

I wanted something more from him. Anything. The night before, I had given myself fully to him, knowing that I may never have the chance again. I wanted a final "I love you."

But he was a Spartan, as was I. There is no room for softness in Sparta.

I will never forget the day he didn't come back.

I waited by the gates of the city, looking at the golden sky. A lone warrior on the horizon, moving towards the gates. As he neared, I realized it was not the slim, dark haired warrior I loved, but a broad shouldered blonde.

Dilios, the king's favourite. He stopped in front of me. A bandage wrapped around his left eye, bloody and dirty. "My lady." He bowed his head, and I tried to smile.

"You are welcomed back, Spartan. Your efforts were valiant. But tell me...where is Astinos?" I asked. My voice seemed loud, almost like I have shouted across the field, rather than whispering it to him. "Where is Astinos?"

His eyebrows pinched together, and I felt as though someone was pushing on my chest, right over my heart. I could not breathe, and I felt as if I were going to faint.

I sat down against the wall, the grass tickling my arms. I remembered every detail from our last night together.

I was seated by my mirror, pulling my comb through my thick hair. I heard the door close behind me, then the press of cool fingers against my neck. "What did the king say?"

"We leave tomorrow."

My eyelids fluttered as his fingers touched where my neck met my shoulder. His lips soon followed, and a soft moan escaped my lips. "Astinos...you must rest. For...tomorrow."

"Later," he whispered. "But now..."

I stood up, touching my neck where he had touched me. "Astinos..."

He moved towards me, forcing me to back up until I was against the wall. "Now." His fingers slipped under the strap of my dress, moving it down my shoulder. I watched him move it down, down, until my dress pooled at my feet.

I stood completely bare before him, but no shame came over me, no embarrassment. Astinos moved his fingers down my face, to my neck. His arms wrapped around me and pushed me down to the bed, kissing me feverishly.

Warmth twisted and coiled in my stomach and my breath hitched. His slim fingers trailed from my waist up to my breast, cupping it gently. I gave a tiny whimper, and I felt him smile. His thumb brushed over my nipple, coaxing it into hardness.

I felt him growing hard against my stomach, and I blushed. "Astinos..."

"Hush, my love." His mouth closed around my breast and I gave a moan, my eyes fluttering. Between my legs, I was growing wet and slippery, and it felt like there was a drum in my stomach. I pressed my lips together, trying to keep quiet.

His hand moved from my chest to my stomach, then down _there_. He pushed a single finger into me, earning a quiet gasp. I managed to open my eyes halfway, and in the candlelight, he was gorgeous, his hair falling down around his shoulders.

He slipped another finger into me, and I whispered, "Astinos." I raised my hand to grip his shoulder, the other trailed down. When had he removed his briefs? I grasped him. He was hard, warm – like stone wrapped in silk.

I experimentally moved my hand up and down, slowly. Now it was his turn to groan, and in response, he put another finger inside me – the third one. I felt myself stretch and I let go of him, grabbing his wrist.

"Trust me," he murmured, and I slowly released his wrist.

His fingers moved in and out of me, rubbing me until I was squirming and panting, the thudding in my stomach intensified, and my skin was hot and flushed. "Oh!"

"Are you ready, my love?" he murmured into my ear, and my arousal peaked. He removed his fingers from me, stroking my face. The wetness on my skin felt cool.

"Yes, yes," I moaned, and he parted my thighs with his own. I felt him push at my entrance, then slip in. It was more painful than his fingers, but I took it in stride. Such was the duty of a Spartan woman. He kept pushing into me, in, in, in until he was fully seated inside me. Although I was in pain at first, the warmth and fullness was satisfying.

As he started to move in and out, I tilted my head back, grabbing his shoulders. Down there...I felt myself squeeze around him, and I cried out. "Oh, gods!"

I felt like I couldn't breathe and I tried to catch my breath. It felt so _good_, and I groaned loudly, at the same time he buried his face into the crook of my neck, whispering my name. As he rubbed against me, I felt something building inside of me, something that I couldn't describe. "I...I..." My vision blurred momentarily. "Faster!" I begged, and he complied.

The pounding grew harder and faster until it broke, and my vision went black for a moment. I felt something wet trickle down my legs, and I screamed Astinos's name over and over, my lips trembling. "Oh...my...oh..."

If he had released inside me, I hadn't felt it. He pushed a piece of hair away from my face and gently pulled out of me. I now realized that I was bleeding from between my legs. But I didn't care. I rolled over onto my stomach, trembling.

He laid on his back, chest rising and falling. He had never looked more beautiful, with his flushed cheeks, darkened eyes and a thin layer of sweat coating his skin. I leaned my head on his chest, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

I knew this could very well be the last time I saw him. The whisper lingered on my lips – _"Don't go"_ –but he would think me weak, stupid, foolish. He stroked my hair, whispered his love, said all the right things, except for the one I wanted to hear – _"I'll stay"._

Just stay, that's all I wanted from him...but...he didn't. And now he was gone from me forever.


End file.
